Untameable Things

There are tens of thousands of exotic pets in Canada: tigers, cheetahs, raccoons, raptors... All kinds of animals that inspired someone a little too much. It’s what we (people) tend to do. We take a good thing one step too far. We say, “What an incredible animal.” And then we take it a step too far: “If it’s this amazing to look at, how much more amazing would it be to live with!” That’s when it starts to go off the rails.

Often, this arrangement ends very cruelly (at least for the animal). Hundreds of these animals are neglected, abused, lost, discarded or simply set loose once the power of our powerful ideas has worn off. One of the most obvious principles we can pull from all this is that there are some things which are just not going to be ‘habituated’. As the tragic injuries of Roy (as in Sigfried and Roy) attest, there is just simply no way to live safely with a dangerous animal. Sooner or later, someone will get bitten. It’s only a matter of time.

All this came to mind this week rather suddenly as I considered how I’ve tried to make a pet of certain so called ‘sinful’ things. I know that word (‘sinful’) is unpopular. But I refuse to let the abuses of it lead me to pretend it doesn’t exist. I’m talking about sin in it’s least religious sense, not simple do’s and don’ts of polished behavior. I’m talking about inward compromises of values and relationships. I’m talking about true sin.

It’s mostly just “off-center” ideas, habits of thought, slips of vocabulary and lapses in attitude. You may say it’s no big deal, but it is to me. I have a compelling image of a person I’d like to be and the lie I’ve told myself is that I can have both: the outcomes of the person God made me to be plus the little indulgencies I allow myself along the way.

It’s the exact same lie that was whispered to Adam and Even in the garden: “You can have both, you know. The life you have right now plus everything the fruit offers.” In other words: you can get more from your life by going your own way than by following God’s instructions.

Anyway, all this came to mind rather suddenly as I considered how I’ve tried to habituate sin. Clean it up. Teach it to behave. Make deals with it. Mitigate the severity. Make it a comfortable object in my life space which didn’t do unnecessary violence to the whole. It sometimes feels like it’s going to work, too, except for this one unfortunate little part: I always get bitten.

So far, I’ve found no lasting or meaningful way to make a pact with compromise. It never stays contained, never plays fair, never holds to the boundaries I wish for it. It always spills over, always gains strength and always reasserts it’s dangerous side. In short, this stuff just simply won’t be lived with well. It always gets messy.

So I’ve decided all over again to renew my resolve not to try to live with things that simply refused to be lived with well. It reminds me of something Jack Nicholson’s character said in As Good as it Gets, “You make me want to be a better man”. Christ made me want to be that a long time ago.

Have a great week,

Chris