Stop. Think. Live.
It’s a trick of consciousness. We somehow manage to live most days with a kind of auto-pilot moving us from one familiar environment to another without much thought at all. But it’s amazing how a tiny bit of news can change all of that. In September of last year, university professor Randy Pausch was given a bit of news like that. What he thought was just a prolonged case of the flu turned out to be terminal pancreatic cancer; and in a flash – just like that – all the things we take for granted become all the things he dreams about: more time for the unscripted, ordinary moments about people, passion and purpose..One of the things I mentioned this past Sunday has to do with the different ways you can view the same set of circumstances. Even if you’re at the bottom of North America, you’re still better off than 98% of everyone else alive. Which is the long way around saying your hell is someone else’s heaven. Even the worst set of life circumstances, here translates into a stunning upgrade for most of the rest of the human race. Think about it. They could take the same bits and pieces that feel like hell to you and construct something they’d be deeply grateful for. How could that impact you if you let it?
Perhaps the best part of being 5 years old is how you are physically present in a radical way. Today is all you know along with the simple pleasure of a moment for a moment’s sake. You were undistracted by the whole world of ideas which has to do with things we fear, things we want, things we think we are (or aren’t). Radically physically present.
Now can you tie those three threads together? Can I suggest three sentences? (1) Don’t wait until you know you’re dying before you figure out how to really live. (2) From the same life circumstances you can construct a whole world of things to be thankful for or a whole world of things to be grumpy about. (3) The challenge of our adult lives will be to reconstruct all the best parts of what you were at 5 years of age: wide open to wonder, physically present, ready to learn, able to trust.
Randy Pausch (our university professor from the first paragraph) gave a lecture last fall at Carnegie-Mellon University entitled “The Last Lecture” in which he shares some of his reflections on finding out you’re dying and what it means to really live. It’s taking the internet and media by storm right now, and it’s one of the most inspirational and challenging things I’ve seen in a while. If you feel like being challenged, why not find a comfortable chair and let him tell his story to you. Not only will it change the way you look at your circumstances, but it may change the way you spend every single day you’ve got left.
We’re in the midst of a string of Sundays where we’re unpacking the idea of maturity. Join us at Westside or tune into the podcast through the week. Please let us know if you have any feedback. More perspectives only add to the process.
Have a great weekend,
Chris
posted by Leigh at
4:46 PM
7 Comments:
Perhaps the best part of being 6 years old.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWNoiVrJDsE&feature=related
By
Anonymous, at 8:08 PM
I think/feel I understand what you've been teaching; that by living purposely/consciously we have the power to rearrange our circumstances, re-write the old self defeating stories we all to often tell ourselves that we might live out a bigger/better/meaningful story/purpose.
I sense the truth in what is being taught but struggle in how to implement it, move into it.
I suspect this is not something that is just going to happen… or is it?
In the book ‘Influencer: the power to change anything’ there is a chapter on practice. The writer contends that practice does not make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect. He argues that the difference between good and great is how one practices; the difference is in the focus. A good basketball player focuses on improving free throw average by 10% keeping track of how many baskets they can make in a row. A great basketball player focuses his practice on specifics, what is the wrist doing, what does it need to do, what about the elbow...
Are their specific practises that might help someone learn how to change the way they view a set of circumstances, change their stories?
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Anonymous, at 9:56 PM
to anonymous:
I don`t know if there is a recipe as such...what I do know, is that if you let God take the reins, things do start changing. I went through some tough times over the last year. So from personal experience, I can say that you can rely on God. An injury kept me off of work and fun for months, and I had to almost reinvent my day to day. I had to find ways of keeping myself busy, but especially something that would give meaning to my getting up in the morning. I am naturally an enthusiastic and positive person, so maybe the process was easier for me than it would have been for, let`s say, someone who has been battling depression or had longer bouts of 'sh**' happening to them. (oops can I say that?!)
Anyways it was a conscious decision, me saying to myself, c'mon, think how you can make this day worth while. I prayed, I read, I spent time in reflection and contemplation, and ideas, projects started flowing. I can honestly say, that the last few months have been the most interesting, exciting, mind-blowing I have had in years! It`s crazy how God seems to remind us of his presence and greatness, in how he orchestrates our meeting people who become new friends, developing our interest in something new and making us discover new talents, reconnect with old friends, putting us in places and circumstances that are just too coincidental to be random...whatever it is, I think once you make that conscious decision to open your eyes and see the world from this new perspective, new possibilities really start to jump out at you, and it is SO exciting!
And like you said, practice makes perfect, but the good kind of practice...one spent with God :) the good part is though, it doesn`t have to be perfect. It will get better and more meaningful as you practice.
I hope you find your way, and start feeling inspired like never before.
:)
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Anonymous, at 11:33 PM
Thanks for sharing your story.
I’m not sure what it means to “let God take the reins, things do start changing”. ‘Means’ is the wrong word… I just… I don’t know… trust it or know what to do with it, both?
It seems to me that there is a difference in saying that to lose weight you just need to eat fewer calories then you burn. That’s the end goal which does not specify the skills that someone is going to need in order to learn how to eat less calories then they burn. Does that make sense in this context?
I agree with Chris focus on narrative, it’s the one place in each of our lives that we control and can truly exercise free will (IMO) - circumstances are all to often what they are, however the story we tell ourselves about those circumstances changes– “to almost reinvent my day to day”.
Chris talked about reframing our narrative by starting at the end, the possibilities… yet I find myself crashing back to my old thoughts and fears…
Maybe the first task lies in mastering our stories, perhaps we don’t have to identify them so much and recognize when I am telling one and then replace it with a narrative with the end/possibility in mind? As Chris indicated most of our old stories are wrong anyway, based as they are on incomplete information and memory…
I don’t know… I was told recently how terrifying is would be to “let go” when your not sure, don’t trust, that God is going to be there.
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Anonymous, at 2:05 PM
The aim is not to be perfect but to make the practice purposeful… scratch that…why do we practice if not to perfect a skill, even if we will not reach that goal – accepting ourselves and others our failings as we go along. Nor do I mean that having perfected a specific skill imply that we can be perfect.
As Christians what do we practice? Do we practice Forgiveness, loving our neighbour or are those things the end goal in and of them selves? Perhaps they are both a practiced skill and a goal?
– there is a difference in doing something over and over again and focusing on the specifics of what you are actually doing. The basketball player whose focus was on the number baskets he could make in a row, when asked why he missed a free throw, might say something like his concentration was off. What does that mean? While the player who focuses on specific skills might say he dropped his shoulder as he released the ball, it’s something he’s working on.
There is a specific practice for some who presenting a gift to those they are about to interact with especially if the interaction could get confrontational. The gift can be anything from some thing to a silent blessing or prayer. For example before one is about to interact with someone you consciously silently wish that they have happiness, joy, contentment. The result being that the other becomes a person as your posture towards the person relaxes; creating an interaction that has a better opportunity in being a positive. This could be a specific practice, a knowing of what the shoulder is doing if you will, in the art of loving ones neighbour.
Just read the following thought it was interesting
Religious actualism:
Quotidianus Christi adventus – Christ comes today;
via dei est qua nos ambulare facit – God’s way is what makes us move;
simper opritit nasci, novari, gnnerari – we must always be reborn, renewed, regenerated; proficer est nihil aliud nisi simper incipere – to do enough means nothing else than always to begin again.
Thus, out of the acceptance of ‘nothingness’ emerges what can be the most central and inclusive, timeless and actual, conscious and active position in the human universe. Finding universal meaning in minor circumstances, one builds on the values of one’s childhood as long as they are revalidated by experience, until one perceives a wider truth which may make them relative or obsolete. – E. Erikson (Gandhi’s Truth – The origins of militant non-violence)
– “to do enough means nothing else than always to begin again”.
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Anonymous, at 12:07 PM
Hi again, I'm anonymous #3 from the top of the list. I'll call myself C. from now on, as the number of anonymous seems to be increasing :)
Indeed, at first,"letting go" is a scary thought, cause we don't know where it leads, what will happen..
I don't know where you are at in your convictions, but that initial step is one of the hardest I think, because we like to maintain control over things; it's a natural human trait. And saying, "ok God, take over", is hard. I don't know if by "terrifying" you mean "a big pit in the stomach, or the feeling of a humongous void before you", but I can relate to that :)
Where does this feeling come from? Likely part of it is fear of the unknown; it's not like knowing that if you eat less, you will loose weight. Here we cannot see the end result. That's why this whole journey is called "faith".
The other part of it, I think, comes from our minds opening up to a whole new level of consciousness (hope this makes sense). Think about it, through believing in the Jesus story (as Chris puts it) in which God came down to bridge the gap between him and us, he allow us to communicate on a personal level and enter a relationship with him; and we are now able to spiritually take ourselves beyond our world, beyond the boundaries of life as we know it everyday, to a whole new level. "Wow!"
So, it's scary,'cause our minds have trouble grasping the greatness /vastness of it all, and we struggle with this idea of letting go, because we fear to loose the control. But letting go and entering the "flow" as I call it, i.e. life as God truly designed and meant for you, is worth it. What's the worse that can happen?...that nothing changes?! that you don't see or do anything differently than before?! Then, even once you say "ok" to God, really you will still be the one living your life, taking the decisions. It's just that you will feel different about them; maybe you will make different choices than you would have before; or view things and behaviors differently, etc.. you start feeling accountable to God and that's what changes. When you let God take control,it means that you confer with him in a way; you pray about stuff; you ask what to think of this or that, what to do, etc...
You can trust with all your heart that God will be there waiting for you; he has been all along. That is a thought and truth more comforting than anything, even fear. Romans 8:38
It's hard to explain, but there is a freedom and a peace that fills you when you stop thinking about yourself and following your selfish desires (what some refer to also as "dying to self"). "Everyone who has faith in Jesus Christ is set free." Acts 13:52. Also, check out Romans 8:6-17.
So, the process? Prayer, prayer, prayer; it can be a 20sec "I don't know what to say; what am I supposed to say? God, I'm filled with doubt and fear. Help me. Help me see, understand. Give me the courage I need to let go of my past, of the negative thoughts and beliefs I constructed, and to trust you, to follow you and your plan for me wholeheartedly", God doesn't care. Check out Romans 8:26
And like any relationship, the more time you spend with the person, the more you get to know then, and the more you trust them.
Let me finish with saying that even if we can't see the goal, we know that God does. And we trust him: "What God has planned for people who love him, is more than the eyes have seen or ears have heard. It has never entered our minds!" 1Corinthians2:9
The possibilities are within us; it's a matter of imagining them. And God is there to help us do so.
"let love be your guide; try to shine as lights among the people of this world, as you hold firmly to the message that gives life."
Peace,
C.
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Anonymous, at 11:50 PM
Thanks C. Call me… Q
I am told I am to practical minded.
I hear what your saying, I think, their was a time I not only believed it was possible I trusted it to be so. As I got older I found it more and more difficult to match the trust with my experiences. Nothing bad ever really happened, just life, a disconnect between what I was taught and what I saw, felt, heard...
Growing up as a Calvinist I understand the aspect of discipline. I also have had that experience of reading devotions if only to feel good about having done it, or was that avoiding the guilt for not having done it…. There is a time for discipline; it can keep the door open the opportunity to be surprised, but I stopped being surprised.
Chris talked about being open as a characteristic of maturity, open to being taught, open to possibilities of what we don’t know, to start with the end and build downwards, “reworking” our circumstances to something other. And he also mentioned effort. Effort that I suspect is different then just discipline, perhaps a focused practice one step at a time approach. Anyway being a practical kind of person I suspect that within the effort part specific practices, tools, skills are available. I know that tools and skills are not faith, but unless we learn how to remain aware of, conscious of, where we are and where were going, well before you know it you stop being surprised.
As for the analogy of weight loss, I was attempting to point out the difference between a goal and a method and that we often mix the two, which is why we fail so often.
When I came to weight loss I tried and tried to eat fewer calories then I burned but failed. I joint weight watchers and learned about food, how the body works all of which was helpful yet the most effective skills I learned was writing down everything that I ate, which made it very difficult to lie to myself. In effect I became aware of what I was doing. As I practiced the new skills I found that I was also re-writing my circumstances, my old stories. I was able to identify distorted thinking, emotional reasoning, until I eventually begin to tell myself a deferent food/weight story. Turns out stories can be full of empty calories.
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Anonymous, at 8:58 PM
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